


When I Realized

by GardensOfTheMoon



Series: Idiots [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: (or beard one and two), F/F, Fluff and Humor, mentions to Hood, mentions to Hook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4532436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GardensOfTheMoon/pseuds/GardensOfTheMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On how Emma Swan gets to realize she was in love with The Mayor, Regina Mills. Pre-4B. Slow Burn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shadowdianne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/gifts).



> Thanks for being here, this little work it's my vision on how Emma realized she was in love with Regina and how this leads her to do the ultimate sacrifice for her. 
> 
> English it's not my first language, sorry for any misplaced or mistaken grammar you could found.
> 
> I'm the owner of a small package of cigarettes and a lighter but this characters.

The sheriff was about to finish her coffee and grab a take out for her stupid boyfriend, sorry, maybe it was just boyfriend but still, to her mind come the image of a certain brunette and with that the questioning “what would Regina want for breakfast?” she said a little louder and Ruby who was in front of her answered much for the blonde’s surprise “Well, her usual it’s the best shot you got” and Emma just nodded and ordered another bag.

She walked out of the dinner offering to her friend a huge smile, she went to the library and leave the first take out bag and a kiss for her, stupid, boyfriend just to leave him there and headed to the mayor’s office.

Once she entered she knocked the door three times just to humor Regina who was a secret admirer of that Sheldon guy from a tv show that Henry and her were seeing whenever her son and Emma weren’t playing videogames in her living room. When she entered the first she got was the amused sight of her friend, yeah right, with a half of smile who widened with the bag presented in front of her.

“Thank you, Emma” The Mayor said with a singular tone that the blonde recognized that it was reserved only for Henry and now against all odds, to her too. “Ruby said this would be ok with you” eyeing the bag and the black sugarless coffee cup “You don’t have to do this” and the sheriff just stared at her for no reason, she just knew that she wanted to do it, not has to.

“It’s ok, could we just eat?” And Regina just stood up and went to the side of the office and sat up on one of the couches “I guess we can do that”. Emma followed her and sat up in front of the Mayor. They began to eat in complete silence, after all it was the first time they eat alone in the office, I’m not going to lie, it was a little awkward for both of them but somehow the Sheriff managed to break the ice.

“How was the movie? The kid told me you two saw one last night” and Regina only chuckled at the affirmation “Oh dear, it was terrible but Henry insisted, I fell asleep in the first part” and somehow Emma felt something broke inside her heart, How can anyone fall asleep with Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone…? She asked in her mind “Really?” The Sheriff mumbled before she gave a huge bite to her sandwich.

“Well I’m not a fanboy like you two” that sentence was followed by a glare from the blonde “Emma, it’s the second time we saw the move in this month!” it was the second time she heard her name on the Mayor’s lips and for an unknown reason the Sheriff felt a little happy “We’re fans not fanboys, Regina…” and the brunette only shook her head “Well not until we reach harry potter and the prisoner of Azkaban”

A smile and a little laughter made the Mayor stop eating “I know it’s your favorite, dear” and then Emma just sighted “And we both know you like Hermione, and don’t even try to deny it” with a very serious expression Regina narrowed her eyes at the green ones “and we also know that you like to call her Jean”

The Mayor stopped her meal completely “so don’t you dare to call us fanboys because you’re one of us whether you like it or not… at least for her” and Regina just sighted “The only thing that bothers me is why did she have to end with the biggest idiot”

“Ron has a good heart” Emma pointed “Still, Harry was her best match” Regina defend as she drank the last sip of her coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lines and walls aren't forever (when you work to tear them down)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, thanks for reading.
> 
> Again, sorry if you found any misplaced or mistaken grammar errors.

The work from the Mayor’s duty have ended at least for that day. Regina had done tons of papers that Snow had just ignored during her short time of administration but if something, the brunette was grateful of having her mind occupied even if it is with such a hideous task. Four o’clock and she opened a drawer of her desk and put up the book that had marked her for life, she was staring at it silently and so intense that she didn’t noticed the knock in the door nor the entrance of the Sheriff.

Emma stood still in front of her, she tried to decode the meaning of the expression on Regina’s face. She saw desperation but also hope, she saw sadness but also the powerful sing of a promise, she saw the concern but also the desire to fight, and then it was that spark on the Mayor’s eyes and how decided she was to find the author.

“Regina” and with that the brunette nearly jumps from her chair to the roof “Please, could you knock instead of giving me a heart attack” she said trying to regain her normal breathe and regal appearance she always portrait. Emma’s lips made a small smile at the scold and nodded as she sat down on the char in front or the Mayor.

The question died in the throat of the blonde, she just couldn’t ask if she was ok but it was clear she wasn’t, maybe she was an idiot but not that much. She studied the surface of Regina´s expressions, she look calm but in those brown eyes a rage storm was unleashed, Emma could see the promise of tears about to fall.  

“What are you doing here, Sheriff?” A fine line was drawn with that last word, one that didn’t exist yesterday morning at their first breakfast in that office “Is Henry ok?” and with the mention of their son’s name her tone of voice went with real concern.

“Everything it’s ok, don’t worry, I just… ” _Wanted to see you_ she said in her mind “Look, I changed my schedule in order to do the night shifts” Regina only stared at her wondering why in the seven hells the blonde would ever do that being Storybrooke as calm as it never had been “Sorry, why is this relevant for me, dear?” and the hollow sound of her voice made echo in Emma’s mind, yes it was there. Another line.

“So I could spent the afternoon here, with you, helping you, after you finish with your paper work” Regina found herself surprised at the determination of the Sheriff’s gaze, their joined eyes just needed a few seconds to reveal the truth behind them. The Mayor remained silent for a little while, so much longer if you asked Emma, and closing her eyes she nodded to the Sheriff.

Emma wanted to hold Regina’s hand, give her a tight squeeze, one that could said I’m here for you, this is me keeping my promise, the one I’ll fight no matter what, this is me letting you know that I care about you, this is me saying you’re not going to do this alone, the one that could say I’ll never let go of you, even if you don’t want me here.

But she couldn’t, not that she didn’t have the strength nor the courage to do it. She just opened the small bag she was carrying and took her little notebook and a pen “We’re doing this, Regina, there’s no way you could make me go so I suggest that we start-” Emma stopped when she realized the soft touch of the mayor’s digits on her own.

The Sheriff lift up her sight just to find a deep feeling reflected in the Mayor’s eyes, she didn’t say a word but with Regina, everything was in her eyes.      


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denial is a precious illusion.

It’s been three days since that first official meeting between The Sheriff and The Mayor. Emma started to feel the weight of the nightshifts, three and with hope four hours of sleep weren´t enough for her to rest. She began to patrol from nine pm to six am, then do the usual report for David at seven am, checking on Henry and with luck had a little breakfast with him. Before eight am she carried the usual bag for her stupid boyfriend and the coffee he used to drank, a quick hi and the inevitable kiss, one that didn’t bring her anything but the feeling that something was off. Still, he had made some stuff for her, it would be wrong _not to be_ with him.

Emma keep telling her that every day since Robin’s departure, she really didn’t know why, it was like if she wanted to convince herself that she had, not a soul mate or a true love but someone. But why did she wanted to believe that. Ruby had been always very perceptive and she didn’t buy the thing with her friend and the pirate, _having someone doesn’t mean you are happy, it only means that you have someone_ , the werewolf told her and the Sheriff just decided not to address that, maybe because it was true.

Before nine am she was entering her bed room after a small talk with her mom and seeing her little brother. She fell on the mattress and wait for the sleep to take her in its arms but nothing happened until ten or maybe eleven am and all that time she just put a fight with the blanket only hoping for the hours to pass until four o’clock to be at the door of the Mayor’s office and see her friend, I mean to help Regina with the research, yeah right.  

That afternoon Emma bring a snack, a grilled cheese sandwich, french fries and an iced tea for her. In the other hand there was a chicken salad, croutons and a bottle of water for Regina. They took their usual places and began to eat, the Mayor noticed how the Sheriff was making faces with every mouthful she gave to her grilled cheese, how those green eyes nearly glowed with pure light and how a smile remained in her mouth even after she ended the bite. The brunette couldn’t help but to let out a little chuckle at the happy image of the blonde eating, she looked a lot like Henry when he was nine years old and he was in front of piece of a chocolate cake.

“Emma… you…” The Mayor tried her most regal tone but a chuckle betrayed her “Me what?” The Sheriff answered still chewing the food “Don’t do that! Wait until you haven’t anything in your mouth to talk!” and then it was the blonde’s turn to laugh at her.

“Can’t help it, this is delicious, it’s like the food of the gods” and Regina arched her left brow “it’s called ambrosia, dear and I really doubt that hideous thing should be compared to that” Emma glared at her as she left the sandwich in the plate “Don’t you dare to talk about things you don’t know!” a playful yet dangerous smirk appeared in the Mayor’s lips “Oh really? Have you tasted the ambrosia, dear?”

Emma’s mouth went dry to the sudden images her mind had bring to her and Regina noticed, she wanted to laugh at the expression the blonde had written all over her face “N-no… but I have tasted this amazing grilled cheese and you don’t” The brunette arched her left brow and with a very serious tone she directed to the Sheriff “Let me…”

She took the sandwich and she slowly bite one of the corners at Emma’s disbelief sight “This is disgusting, how could you eat this?”  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hi dear reader, Emma here! I just wanted to leave a little question, do you really think grilled cheese is disgusting? Or it's just that beautiful brunette over there the one who thinks that?-
> 
> Hey! What are you doing here Emma?!! You shouldn't be here!!
> 
> -Come on, you can write about me eating like a child and I don't have the right to do a question?-
> 
> Get.out.now.
> 
> Sorry for the bother and thank you so much for read this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of royalty and peasants

Finally and with no rush the weekend came to Storybrooke. The very first weekend since Emma and Regina had seen each other every day to do the research. They have some hints and the Sheriff had made a conceptual framework with the visuals of that clues but all of them landed in dead ends.

Emma saw how the Mayor had endured all the results and in her eyes Regina was an extraordinary strong woman. Still her eyes told her how much in pain she was, with the mayor it was all there. The Sheriff had declined the _all alone_ second date that her stupid boyfriend, sorry language I know, had asked for, she had a promise to keep and there was nothing more important for her than seen the brunette smiling.

So, she drove to the 108 Mifflin St. with a box full of fun, or ways to forget things you don’t want to remember –but you still remember anyway. She knocked the door and when it opened the blonde found the inquisitor look of her brunette friend.

“Busy? Because I can go to Rubes’s with all this treasure…” A small smile and a welcoming look were all the Sheriff needed to make her way into the house “I knew it”. Henry was camping with Charming and the rest of the Merry Men that had been stuck there.

“What are you doing here, Emma?” the blonde turned around and poured out a strange mix of something in a small glass for Regina “Making you drunk” and the mayor sighted, if something she didn’t wanted the Sheriff to feel compromised to spent time with her in order to assuage her promise “Well, that’s clear dear but you don’t have to do this” and it was there again, another line drawing itself between the two of them.

_Not this again_ , Emma thought “I want to be here, Regina, with you and this croska” and with that the Mayor smiled “with what?” and the riddled look didn’t left her eyes “Caipiroska” but the brunette didn’t understood “Lime, vodka and a little sugar… haven’t you tried this? Jesus, where have you been living all this time?”

Emma received a glare Evil Queen branded but she didn’t mind and just giggled making appear an evil smirk on Regina’s lips “You know, there’s more than fancy wine and old cognac in this world” The Mayor couldn’t help herself “That’s what royalty deserves, dear” she wanted to punch the blonde.

“Peasants have some cool stuff too” and Regina saw the wide smile and the wink Emma directed to her “Sorry to bother you but you’re a princess, dear” and then a laugh worth it of the former Evil Queen surrounded the room.

“Whatever, your majesty” Emma answered bring it in the five shots she had have “Well it’s been a long time since anyone called me that way” and the Mayor straitened her pose to look as regal as ever.

“I was messing with you” The Sheriff said as she poured another round for the two of them “Can I say something but I need you to promise not to kill me?” the Mayor narrowed her eyes and after a little sip of that peasant wonder “I can’t promise that, dear but I’ll try”

“Back then, in that travel in time, when I saw you as the Evil Queen, you were…” _Beautiful_ , Emma thought, and a little silence filled the moment “a monster, you-” but she stopped with a rise of Emma’s hand “You didn’t let me finish. You were different yet when I saw you now… you’re not her, she’s not you anymore but still you’re both”

Another silence filled the air, Regina didn’t know what to say so she wait until Emma finished.

“Maybe that isn’t making any sense but like me, you’re a fighter and I admire your strength to keep going”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hello peasants, you don't deserve me but here's your Queen that came to salute you and make your lifes a little less miserable -
> 
> You too Regina? and what do you have to say?
> 
> -That I really liked that peasants, vodka thing, dear-
> 
> Seriously?
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family and fanboys.

Two weeks later, Emma switched the night shifts for the morning ones, David almost made her sing an order because she refused to let go the time she had invested in Regina’s investigation. When he told her she could leave early, the blonde felt a great relief because she still got time to go with the Mayor but also to see Henry, she missed him a lot.

As soon as Emma announce the change of the shifts, Regina make the arranges to return with a little something the effort the Sheriff was doing and with the blonde she knew she only had one way so she invited her to dinner.

Somehow, Emma was calm but also nervous and she didn’t knew why exactly. She had bought a bottle of fancy red wine, _only the best for royalty_ , she thought and as awkward as it sound she felt knots in her stomach when she saw Regina in a beautiful blue dress that hugged her whole body showing the rocking forms the former Queen had.

“Ma?” She heard at the end of her head “Yeah? What is it kid?” and Henry frowned his brows “Mom told us to wait a little because you came early” a whole bunch of things passed by Emma’s mind, what if she has been rude to show up early, against all odds because they all knew the Sheriff wasn’t exactly that punctual.

“Shit… damn, forget that kid” and his son only could but chuckle at the reaction of the Sheriff “Relax, it’s just us. I’m sure everything it’s ok” but he didn’t knew that the _just us_ part was all this about, if something he was just happy to spend the night with both of his moms. “Just let me see if she needs help”

“Ok but it’s Mom we’re talking about, she always have everything covered” and again the kid was right, Emma told in her mind despite that she took off her red leather jacket and put it in the closet before meeting Regina in the kitchen.

“You need help?” and the words made Regina to turn and see the image of the cutest expression she ever had seen in Emma’s face, damn those puppy eyes “Oh, thank you dear, I’m about to finish here but why don’t you get Henry and you both set the table?”

It was a very lovely night, Emma thought, they shared a delicious lasagna, they talked, they laughed, they enjoyed their company and everything felt so right, so good. The Sheriff saw Regina a little more relaxed, smiling and maybe even happy but it has to be Henry, that boy knew how to cheer her up.

“Ma, could you stay a little bit more after the dessert?” And Emma turned around with a confused look and a side up smile “Well, I don’t know Henry. It’s a school night and I don’t want to get myself in trouble with Regina”

“It’s fine dear, really, he’s asking because we’re seeing Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban” the Mayor told her as she was rolling her eyes pretending not to be excited at all “Really? You still up with the marathon thing?” and Henry couldn’t help himself and he left out a little laugh “Every month, Ma”

“Geez kid, you’re a complete fanboy” Emma laughed as she took the last sip of her wine “Please, Ma, you started it everything back in New York” and with that the Mayor just glared at her blonde friend “So you’re behind of all?”

“She used to say she and Harry were much alike” and the former Queen just laughed harder eyeing her blonde friend “just as much as you play to be Hermione, Mom” and oh sweet revenge now was Emma’s turn to laugh as she prepared her last shot.

“The best part, kid, is that you get to be Ron”

 

       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hey, I'm not an idiot!-
> 
> Henry, you're a charming
> 
> -So what?-
> 
> You're half Idiot.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oldies

That night a winter storm had arrived to Storybrooke, the Sheriff needed to be sure that everyone in town were in a safe and warm place. She had made some rounds with David, monitored the telephone and she carried a radio and her cellphone have directed all the calls from the station. The heads of the police enforcement had been at it all day.

 

Emma didn’t get to see Regina instead of it they had a small chat by phone and somehow, she felt something much like a relief but still she had that feeling, that strange urge to see the Mayor and their son just to be sure they were ok.  Still she didn’t drove to the 108 of Mifflin st. instead of it she went direct to Granny’s with the hope to find Ruby there.

 

The doorbell rang and when the Sheriff entered she saw the simile her friend had given to her “Hey Rubes, are you busy?” The wolf give her a light squeeze on her shoulder “Hi, Em, I’m about to end my shift, still with this storm I think I should be here just in case anyone needed something”

 

“That’s what I though you would do, so I came here” and the blonde took off her jacket and make herself comfortable in one of the sits at the bar. “You have something, isn’t…” and Emma hated how her friend could read her as an open book “Damn you, woman, I want a shot, one” and Ruby let go a soft laugh “You’re on duty, so this hot chocolate will be the only shot you got”

 

The brunette went to the corner and turned on the old jukebox, it used to work but it had been many years ago. And according to everything else in the place it only have old music.  The blonde followed with her eyes and took the last sip of her hot beverage. 

 

“Oh, I know that one” Emma knew the ballad, she had a secret love for the songs people liked to call oldies. She went with the music and the lyrics, her mind was showing her images of her stupid boyfriend but her heart leaded her to a complete different person, _this isn’t making any sense_ , she told to herself. Ruby noticed the change in the Sheriff expression.

 

“Come, dance with me” Ruby winked at her and with eyes as beautiful as her friend have, Emma just let go of herself not before let out a laugh. She stood up and led her partner in crime to the center of the desert diner and began to move with the rhythm of the song.

 

“I don’t even dance with Killian, and look” Ruby noticed the sorrow in that affirmation “well, he’s not as hot as I’m” and Emma just chuckled as hard as her senses let her “Yeah, you’re right”

 

The song keep playing in the background in repeat and neither of them didn’t even noticed “Em, can I ask you a question?” the blonde turned to meet their gazes “Yeah” the Sheriff nodded waiting for a punch of bluntness her friend used to have “Do you love him?” Emma tensed her whole body and for a second she couldn’t keep the dance.

 

“Of course, why do you ask me that?” And the defensive tone of her words was all that Ruby needed to confirm her thoughts “Really? How many times have you seen him in the last three weeks?” that was just the time her friend had been seeing Regina nearly every day.

 

“I see him in the mornings when I go to give him his takeout bag” and that sounded hollow “And you call that a relationship? Em, when I see you with him it’s like if your eyes lose all their bright” Emma leaned in her friend’s shoulder and traces of tears appeared in Ruby’s clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the ones wondering what song it was Only You by The Platters.
> 
> Why that song? Well I love it and for this line "When you hold my hand I understand the magic that you do"


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The right thing to do.

That night, Emma couldn’t sleep.

She get up from the bed and went straight to the kitchen with extreme precautions, she didn’t want to awake her parents or her baby brother. She opened the fridge and took a can of root beer, two in the morning and she decided not to return to her bedroom and instead of it she went to sat up on the stairs outside of the apartment.

She needed time, she needed space and most of all she needed to think about that other day with Ruby in the diner. She hasn’t had clear why did she ended crying over her friend's shoulder, _I’m happy_ , she tried to convince herself. And she was, in a way, she was happy.

She had Henry, her parents and against all odds she had a baby brother, she had her stupid boyfriend and she had… she had Regina in her life, in her side, in her thoughts and in her mind every single minute of the day, _this isn’t normal_ , she told to herself.

The creamy and smooth taste of the root beer remained in her mouth, it tasted like vanilla, Emma always had loved the vanilla taste, then the flavor took her straight to Regina’s eyes, those brown mirrors, those riddled pools, those gorgeous nightmares, those beautiful storms.

The blonde was so drowned in her own thoughts that she didn’t even noticed David, he was leaned in the frame door staring at her, he didn’t want to scare her but when he decided to join her in the stairs Emma almost let out a shout

“It’s just me, Emma” David told her as he sat up beside her “You scared me, Da-vid” she saw the small smile he give to her, that tiny cute and stupid grin she had also inherited from him “Why are you here? It’s something bothering you?” and the Sheriff wanted to curse herself for the great idea of coming out to the apartment instead to head to her bedroom.

But the harm had been done. The next part was either lie or tell the truth but Emma didn’t even knew what the truth was. She went with the lie.

“Can’t sleep” and that was part of the truth, it has to count didn’t it? “Well that’s clear but what happens?” and the calming and peaceful tone of her father’s voice help her a little to regain her strength and keep it up.

“All this calmness, all this peace, all of this seems to be like a spell about to break” David just sighted, he knew his daughter enough to tell she was lying “Emma it’s ok to be scared but we don’t have to be scared all the time and the best we can do is to be ready” And the blonde felt her father’s arm rounding her shoulders

“I know you haven’t been here that much, I know you’re all invested in helping Regina but-” Emma didn’t let him finish “I’m not leaving her” and her tone was firm and strong “Hey, I was about to say that you can’t let this consume you. I know why you’re helping her and I can’t be more proud of you, Emma but you really need to look after you first before try to help her”  
  
And Emma just swallowed.

“You barely sleep, you don’t rest enough, you’re all about this research that even you’re forgetting to live” he knew that somehow he was right “I just want to do the right thing” Emma said leaning her head in David’s shoulder.

“Emma, doing the right thing is the bravest act we can ever do” she heard him “but doing the right thing sometimes isn’t what the other people need” David caught the sad sigh of his daughter “Or the easiest thing to do” he leaned himself to kiss the top of the Sheriff’s forehead.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last part is a stolen knowledge someone wiser than me told me once. And you know what? She is right.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be careful with what you wish for.

_Regina must be waiting for me._

Emma told to herself as she was staring at the apple tree in the backyard of the town hall, she had a cigarrete in hand and she were sucking and blowing the fine and slightly rouge taste of the tobacco as the sunset colored the horizon. She didn’t smoke in front of Henry or her parents or her stupid boyfriend –he had seen her once and decided that he didn’t like her to smoke. But still, she didn’t quit it, she smoked whenever she felt stressed, worried or the two things together.

That night she had promised to visit Killian but truth be told all that she wanted is have dinner with Regina and Henry as the previous nights before.  Although she still got another half an hour with the Mayor after finishing that cigarrete. The ghost of a smile born with that thought but it died as soon as she began to imagine the future, the new destiny that her friend desire to have.

One thing was for sure, Emma never liked Robin, she tried to stay as far from him as she could and barely speak to him. There was something in his eyes that the blonde felt fake but Regina was happy, so happy that she will never dare to tell a thing even if she knew that it was wrong.

But thanks to the all divines he wasn’t there anymore, he was far, far away from them building a life with his family and moving on.  Emma wanted Regina to do the same and for a moment she wondered if her friend really loved him, _they only dated like a week, sort of, it’s too soon to tell you love someone after all_ , the Sheriff tried to convince herself but why? Why did Emma wanted to be sure Regina didn’t love Robin?  She knew he didn’t love her because if that’s ever the case, he just can’t simple walk away and leave her.

If Emma were in his shoes she knew one thing for sure _Even with everything against me Regina, I’ll never walk away from you…  I won’t ever leave you_ , she promised to the wind.

 “Oh _but_ I thought you did leave me” Emma recognized the voice immediately and her face paled in less of a second, did she had told that at loud?  “Quite interesting dear, I didn’t know you smoke” and a soft blush appeared on the Sheriff pale face, she didn’t want to face her so her eyes were glued directly to her hands and then she saw it, the small red metalized box.

 “Neither do I knew you smoke… too” was the only coherent sentence the blonde could say, her voice were trembling and Regina noticed, she knew that something was wrong with the Sheriff.

Emma saw how a smile were drawing on Regina’s lips, _she’s so beautiful when she smiles_ , the Sheriff thought “Now you do” the blonde was stunned and impressed with this new information “And if you want my silence then you have to do the same, Emma”.

And the sound of her name in Regina’s voice was starting to feel like a blessing “That’s why you found me here…” and the blonde was feeling relieved, there isn’t any chance that she could say that at loud, she only thought that… didn’t she? “Yes, and the fact that I need a lighter” Emma was just amazed, _The Mayor is a smoker_ , she said in her mind and losing her attention for a little while before to offer her fire.

“Emma, would you like to dinner with me and Henry tonight?” And the green eyes of the Sheriff began to glow with a beautiful shine “I know it’s a little rushed and I’ll completely understand if you have other things to do”

“There’s nothing more I could wish for, Regina”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a headcanon for me, they both are smokers but you little fellow swens don't do that.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more lines.

Emma was nervous.

Regina could notice that since she passed the umbral of the entrance of her study where they went right after saying their goodnights to a sleepy Henry. They sat as they used to, the beginning of every conversation was always the worst part for them, the Sheriff always wondering what stupid thing to say to make her laugh and the Mayor being as regal as ever.

But it was a comfortable silence, they both shared the intimacy of being alone with themselves and of course with the peasant’s vodka and the royalty’s wine. It was nice to have that moment and just forget about everything else, no work, no family issues, no stupid boyfriend, no void in the Sheriff’s chest nor the Mayor’s.

Just the two of them.

Emma tried -but failing epically- not to stare at Regina’s eyes and the brunette let her think she didn’t notice as much as she did it moments ago when she pretend she hadn’t heard a thing about the _I won’t ever leave you_ the Sheriff thought she said only in her mind, thing is the Mayor assumed the blonde was talking about the Captain Guyliner.

 _What is her mind?_ Emma said really to herself this time, because she saw the change in Regina’s beautiful brown eyes, little sadness and something more she couldn’t tell for certain. The blonde didn’t dare to ask, she knew better than that instead of it she went direct for an answer

“Am I bothering you?” Regina heard the nervousness in Emma’s voice, yes she was a little angry, maybe jealous? No it couldn’t be, right? Why did the Mayor could feel like that? “Only when you’re a stubborn idiot” The Sheriff couldn’t help herself and smirked

“Well, according with you then is every day” A little laugh tied Emma’s attention to Regina’s lips “Dear, you’re a charming, what do you expect with parents like that? Thank god Henry is a bright and smart boy” The Sheriff glared at her only to drop an even wider smirk “He gets that from you”

A small smile appeared in Regina’s lips as she fell completely silent, some other time she could accept that without any doubt but tonight.

“Regina, I…” and the pause only added more suspense to the already complicated scenery “I think, no, I know we don’t talk much about our lives, I know there’s much to know about each other but I do know one thing”

The Mayor stared at her, she was holding her glass of wine as much as she could.

“You’re an amazing mother, our son is what he is only because you raised him and for that I’ll be always grateful with you” The way that words were said made Regina shiver and broke the gaze to avoid Emma, so she couldn’t see her glassy eyes, the Mayor wasn’t used to cry in front any one and make such a display of vulnerability.

“I’ve no doubt how much you love him and the way he loves you it’s just overwhelming” a lonely tear went down Regina’s eyes “A long time ago, I used to think in the things I’d love to change about my life but if by some sort of game or destiny our paths were joined from the very beginning then I’ve to be completely honest and confess that I won’t change a thing”

The Sheriff leaned forward and place her hand over Regina’s forearm “Not even a single one” and she handled a little tissue that the Mayor grabbed gently from her hand giving her a small smile, the brunette was really touched by the blonde’s beautiful words.

Something was changing inside Emma’s heart, she felt things for Regina far beyond her comprehension, she didn’t knew how to describe, she only could feel how strong those feelings were and how much peace they gave her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idiots and Mayors

If she ever wanted to avoid something was the mere thing she just did.

The Savior was wishing to die, praying for something that ended her life right in the floor of the Mayor’s office. She had a big mouth and even if sometimes the stars aligned and make her think before to talk that night was cloudy and with zero possibilities to see the sky.

_I’m screwed up, so screwed up,_ Emma thought.

Regina’s eyes were lost in the horizon, averting the sight of the Sheriff for a while giving her nerves sometime before she forget she was good now and just burn Emma to ashes. They were getting along, making jokes and everything, all the stuff people who call themselves friends do. Emma cared about Regina and there was no doubt Regina cared about Emma.

But that’s different to want and rush things, Emma always tried to give it time and space, she wanted to let the thing go… because there was a thing between them, even if she didn’t knew what kind of thing, well it supposed to be a friendship, right? Yeah, right. Thing is, the one we are talking about right now, not the other thing… well the point is the Savior made a terrible mistake, she wanted to play the clown and make Regina laugh as always but it didn’t went as she had expected.

There were things Regina had told her she didn’t want to discuss with her, not at the moment, and Emma was ok with that but sometimes not knowing things –and not the thing we talked about earlier- makes you take stupid decisions like to choose -and fail- the worse of the possible jokes you can pick to make the woman you pretend to make feel good.

But that was Emma Swan’s story with Regina Mills.

Regina will never let her feel guilty, not directly at least, and Emma knew that and it was painful. Truth is it wasn’t anybody’s fault, things happens and if they did it’s for them to take them as a lesson? No, it wasn’t that bad… or it was? By the way the Sheriff’s hand were sweating and her eyes drifting between the floor and the couch one can guess it was.

The Mayor on the other hand, wasn’t that pleased. It’s not what Emma have done, she keep telling in her mind, it’s what that represent, something she didn’t wanted to remember by choice. And even if at the final moment she told to the blonde that it was fine, the Sheriff still feel the heavy weight in her chest.

“I’m sorry” and the little words came much like a plea from Emma’s pink lips. When she dared to lift her eyes to meet the brown ones in front of her, she saw something she first thought it was shame but then in changed to something she could tell it was… _hate? It could really be that?_ The Sheriff said in her mind.

“It’s not your fault Emma” and the tone, that freaking regal tone, the one that sound on Emma’s ears like _you’re an Idiot Emma, but it’s fine because you’re my idiot_ wait… what? Where did that came from?

“I shouldn’t… it wasn’t my intention” she wanted to keep the chant.

“I already told you that it’s ok” and the little pause felt like a millennium for the blonde “now fix this and replace them” the Mayor told her and as fast as she could the Sheriff began to mop the floor to clean the mess, it was enough for Regina that her assistant knew she liked the root beer but now Emma knew it too and not only that, the Sheriff had broken the entire pack she just had bought. One, two, three, for, five, six bottles murdered by the idiot.

“I’m really sorry Regina”

“It’s for today, Emma”        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're reading me, sorry for the long wait and thank you so much for reading me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waving ocean.

The cold air was dancing along with the waves, it was like a calming waltz witnessed by the still bright full moon shining on the top of the sky. The Sheriff couldn’t tear her eyes from the tide, for some reason the sea always managed to calm her. That Saturday morning she left the loft with the intent to do just a quick run in the park, running always helped her to think and clear her mind, after that incident with the murdered bottles of root beer, the Sheriff lowered the visits to the Mayor’s office. It was stupid, but she felt guilty, normally she would blow that off and continue with everything, maybe she would even joke about it but the thing is the whole investigation was getting on her.

There was a thing new to Emma, in so little time she got a son, a mom, a dad, a baby brother and a boyfriend –sort of, it’s a boyfriend the guy who kisses you but you don’t feel much like kissing or never want to hang out with?-. She never had that before, so she was still adjusting and figuring things out, then it happens she gained dear friends Ruby, Ashley, even Belle and now Regina.

Somehow Regina was different from all of them, the things she made her feel, how easy was to hang out with her, how good it felt the time they managed to spend together even it that meant having the Mayor behind you bossing you around, not mentioning the movie nights with Henry on the Mills household.

The sound of the tide coming in and out dragged her from her inner thoughts, she just decided it was enough and she didn’t care about her running clothes, it happened she was feeling this sudden urge to have a moment with Regina and their son. So she grabbed her phone, it was six in the morning but, she needed to ask she just couldn’t show up from nowhere.

**Are you up?**  
  
And the wait seemed to be an eternity, maybe it was a mistake being stalking her crush, I mean her friend! So early in the morning.

_Good morning to you too, Emma. Yes, we are up and guess what we are doing._

**Harry Potter? It’s six in the morning!**

_Bingo! That’s your fault actually. Henry told me you did this every weekend back in New York._

**Did he told you about my French toast special?**

_I’ve heard all kind of wonders about that simple French toast of yours…_

**Oh, you wouldn’t say that if you try them.**

_You told me the same thing with that hideous grilled cheese._

**That’s different! Let me make it up for you, would you let me go to your place and make them for you?**

_Only if you promise not to burn the house…   You should have seen Henry’s face when I told him…_

**Hey! It happened just once! I’ll be right there in no time.**

It was incredible how easy the Sheriff felt so full of happiness with the sole idea of cooking for them, so she turned her head to look at the sea for one last time, she took a deep breath and then she put all the rest in the back of her mind. She left the docks and walked all her way towards the mini market to buy the stuff she was going to need, she was sure Regina would have fresh fruit so she skipped that part. Once out of the minimarket and she went straight to the bakery and grabbed two pieces of freshly baked challah bread, Henry’s favorite.

Maybe Emma would may not want to acknowledge, yet, what was exactly the feeling she has for Regina, but for now she needed that break and the smile Regina saw in the blonde’s face was the most undeniable of the proofs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, long time, I know, but guess what, I'm back... rusty but back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't text while playing soccer.

Sunday evening found Emma and Henry hanging out in the park. They had been playing with a soccer ball as they usually did the weekends they spent on New York, it was good to have something only for the two of them the blonde though but still something was missing, and suddenly she found herself wondering if Regina would be reading a book in the bench at the backyard, switching pages from time to time in that awkwardly cute way, The Sheriff reached her cellphone that was in her pocket and then she typed a simple line

**Hey! We’re playing soccer at the park, would you like to join us?**

Whenever she was with Henry and Regina, deep inside her heart everything made sense, she felt an emotion she hadn’t felt before, and she wondered if that was what people used to call _home_. Funny thing that word came just when she thought about them. They were family, a little weird one but they were, they just made sense. The movie nights, the videogame sessions, the meals, the walks near the forest behind The Mills’s mansion, the long talks nerding about Harry Potter, the coffee and the cigarettes Emma and Regina shared after dinner and the blonde loved. It was peaceful, it was right, it felt good and it was something she didn’t feel with the Charmings or even with her stupid boyfriend –sorry not sorry. The blonde enjoyed their time together, Emma loved Henry, and she also loved Re- wait, hang in there, did the Sheriff just thought about _loving_ the Mayor?

Emma froze in her spot and a cold breeze ran all the way down her spine and even if there was a place, somewhere on the blonde’s soul, longing for that kind of connection, she was a Charming and its eternal curse condemn her, even with everything right in front of her eyes, she couldn’t realize the undeniable truth before her.

 “Ma!” a sudden shout from Henry pulled Emma out of her mind, the boy looked kind of worried because his mom seemed to be miles away from there and he had already kicked the ball, he didn’t see her texting, another Charming after all. The sheriff didn’t see the ball coming straight to her face, she couldn’t stop it and it ended smashing her head against one of the goal’s pole.

 “Ma! Are you ok? Holly…” the boy felt guilty and worried when he saw a trail of blood drawing its path through the blonde’s cheek, born from the left side of her face. “I’m ok Henry, calm down kid, everything is fine” it wasn’t a big deal but the blood kept coming and the boy got worried, so he ran to the yellow bug and took the first aid kit, it was a golden rule that Regina had established and the little Mills was relieved that Emma actually followed.

The boy was well instructed by his mom, so the cut at the end of Emma’s crease was treated properly “Thank you Henry, please put a little bandit on it” she said kissing the boys temple “Mom is going to lecture you” and Emma sighed, he was right, she could hear Regina in her mind and if it was on purpose, her phone buzzed

_Do enjoy yourselves. I’m making dinner, we’re having lasagna and tiramisu for dessert… don’t drool, dear. Do you think you can pass by the store and buy some wine? You know the one I like with this dish. Don’t be late._

The smile on Emma’s face was wide and bright, for some reason her chest filled with warmth. She couldn’t understand how something as simple as that could be so fulfilling, spending the day with the brunette and their son –how awesome, _their_ son- promised to be one of the bests days she had had in such a long time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
